The mare's secret code of honor
is as old as horses themselves and is ultimately the species best kept secret.
No mare shall ever produce a
foal before it's time. (It's time being determined by the following factors):
house must be a wreck, your family hungry and desperate for clean clothes, and
your social life nonexistent.
must reach the babbling fool status before you foal out. Bloodshot eyes, tangled
hair and the inability to form a sentence mean you're getting close.
every bell, beeper, camera or whistle they attach to you, foaling must be
delayed by at least one day for each item.
check, add a day, internal add three. If you hear the words, "She's nowhere near
ready. You'll be fine while I'm away for the weekend," Wait 12 to 16 hours and
pop that baby out!
stress must be at an all time high! If you are in the care of someone else, ten
to fifteen phone calls a day is a sign you're getting close. When you hear the
words "I can't take it anymore!" wait three days and produce a foal.
must keep this waiting game interesting. False alarms are necessary! Little
teasers such as looking at your stomach, pushing your food around in the bucket
and then walking away from it are always good for a rise. Be creative and find
new things to do to keep the adrenaline pumping in those who wait.
honor of all horses is now in your hands. Use this time to avenge all of your
stable mates. Think about your friend who had to wear that silly costume in
front of those people. Hang onto that baby for another day. OH they made him do
tricks too! Three more days seems fair. Late feedings, the dreaded diet, bad
haircuts, those awful wormings can also be avenged at this time.
you have fulfilled all of the above and are still not sure when to have this
foal, listen to the weather forecast on the radio that has been so generously
provided by those who wait. Severe storm warning is what you're waiting for. In
the heart of the storm jump into action! The power could go out and you could
have the last laugh. You have a good chance of those who wait missing the whole
thing while searching for a flashlight that works!
the most of your interrupted nights. Beg for food each time someone comes into
the stable to check you. Your stable mates will love you as the extra goodies
fall their way too.
this code of honor was designed to remind man of how truly special horses are.
Do your best to reward those who wait with a beautiful filly to carry on the
mare code of honor for the next generation of those who wait!